Listening Notes -- #3

The book continues. Some of the suggestions are good, but this guy isn't a very good teacher.

• Listening requires Energy, Concentration & Thinking (its hardwork)
• Big secret to listening: Ask open ended questions that need detailed answers
• Best way to understand people is to listen to them.

Chapter #3
Listening Pays

• sales people who listen are more successful
• listening to (getting to know) children is vital to good parenting.
• trick to listening to presenters: Write it Down
• Questioning, Taking Notes & Writing a report can help you remember 70% more from an oral presentation
• So always be prepared to write something down (pen & paper by phone etc...)
• good listners ask self questions like: what is the pattern or speaker's organization? Where is he going with this topic?
  
• also outline what you're hearing. Diff ways to do this: chronological, analytical, order of importance, compare/contrast, problem/solution, numberical, alphabetical, & spatial.

Ch #4 - (63) Bad listening habits to avoid

• daydreaming
• facts-only listening - get speakers overall message not just minor tidbits
• Poor Posture - make you not look engaged
• Tuning out
• emotionalism
• faking attention :)
• Obsessive not taking - you won't get it all, higlight the main points
• Time Wasting - don't waste your listening time. You can listen faster than the speaker can speak so anticipate, evaluate & mentally summarize the speaker's points as you listen.
• even keeping you desk clear can be a good way of elminating distrationc
• do not play (fidget) with pens or other things when listening.

Chapter #5
L Look at the other person. (ie if not in eyes at least in hairline.
A Ask Questions - open ended is best (ask how someone feels people love to explain that)
D Don't Interrupt
D Don't change the subject
E Check your emotions (listen not judge) (also don't do the 1st 'd' and chime in with your emotions)
R Respond- nod, "uh huh", can ask questions to clarify what is said.


Sweet, I just got totally caught up. I think I'll finish the book this weekend. I look forward to being told about 20 more times how psychiatrists get paid so much money just to listen.

Sales man example (asking):
Faker: Sell me something in this room?
Seller: What would you like to buy?
Faker: Oh, I guess this ashtray
Seller: Why would you want to buy that ash tray?
Faker: Its new & shapely. Its colorful and also we're in a building and I don't want it to burn down so I want to accommodate my guests.
Seller: (instantly) How much would you pay for the ashtray?
Faker: Well its not and sturdy and attractive, I guess about 18 - $20.
Seller: I'll go ahead and let you have it for $18.
--- asking questions is a great way to sell.
closed ended questions: Who where & When, Did (I thought of this on my own)
open ended questions: What why & How

• Reasons to ask questions: to get specific info or to learn opinions/feelings.