Listening Notes -- #4 --> Last Ones!

Chapter #6 -- What we great listeners know as "Advanced Principles for total Listening" (I ad-libbed this a little)(trust me if you ever read this book, you'll need to do something to make sure you haven't died of the same insight over & over)
H Have a hearing checkup (I think this is the stupidest thing in this book, but apparently it is a problem and checkups are good.)
E Evaluate the Evidence
A Anticipate Key Points or Ideas
R Review Mentally

Evaluate the Evidence: Ask self questions like:

• Am I getting definite example or generalities?
• fact or opinion?
• What the speakers point? What trying to prove?
  
  
  
• Listen for what the facts add up to (not just the facts)
• Also feedback and clarification is good to make sure you're getting the right message.
• Also some people are liars, so ask for sources afterward. This is a good way to evaluate.
  

Anticipate Key Points

• Try to figure out where speaker is going (you can do this cuz you think way faster then he/she speaks)
• This also helps you focus way better on the message
• Can make things a lot less boring.
• Best way to take notes is just write down what's unknown to you. or a diff perspective.

Review Mentally

• Mentally summarize what you hear.
• What point is the speaker making? What are the key ideas? (do these steps repeat themselves?
• Basically: identifying, organizing & recalling the key ideas.
• Try to listen emphatically -- put self in others shoes.

Chapter #7 -- Listening between the lines
One body position could mean many things. You usually want 2 or 3 clustered visual cues before interpreting body language.


Chapter #8 -- Goals for Understanding

• Do I listen to understand rather than spend the time preparing my next remakr?
• before agreeing or disagreeing do I check to make sure I do understand what others mean?
• do I try to summarize points of agreement or disagreement?
• do try to ask questions that result in a more informative answer than yes/no?
• try to eoncourage others to participate inthe discussion?
• guard against assuming I know others eaning or feelings?
• aware of others feelings when he/she expresses closeness/affecectoin?
• when others feelings hurt respond with sensitivity?

the less the formal system of socialness is satisying to employees they are drawn to informal social channels and much less loyal to the organizzation.


Chapter #9 - Applying total listening techniques
For interviewing candidates, ask questions first before rambling on about selling them on joining the company. Make sure they fit.
for performance appraisal, remember people crave feedback and appreciation

type-A behaviors are more prone to heart-attaches. Here are some patterns (and as this MBA gets more stressful here at BYU, I know I'm falling into some of these)

• always rushing & not listening
• talking business while eating
• talk too much and not listen to others (repeat)
• being impatient w/others.
• losing temper
• showing hostility and always fighting.
• hurrying others in their speaking
• constantly interrupting

Well I've got to right the report with my study group now( they were smart and chose other books). I don't anticipate typing too much more out of this book.

Listening Notes -- #3

The book continues. Some of the suggestions are good, but this guy isn't a very good teacher.

• Listening requires Energy, Concentration & Thinking (its hardwork)
• Big secret to listening: Ask open ended questions that need detailed answers
• Best way to understand people is to listen to them.

Chapter #3
Listening Pays

• sales people who listen are more successful
• listening to (getting to know) children is vital to good parenting.
• trick to listening to presenters: Write it Down
• Questioning, Taking Notes & Writing a report can help you remember 70% more from an oral presentation
• So always be prepared to write something down (pen & paper by phone etc...)
• good listners ask self questions like: what is the pattern or speaker's organization? Where is he going with this topic?
  
• also outline what you're hearing. Diff ways to do this: chronological, analytical, order of importance, compare/contrast, problem/solution, numberical, alphabetical, & spatial.

Ch #4 - (63) Bad listening habits to avoid

• daydreaming
• facts-only listening - get speakers overall message not just minor tidbits
• Poor Posture - make you not look engaged
• Tuning out
• emotionalism
• faking attention :)
• Obsessive not taking - you won't get it all, higlight the main points
• Time Wasting - don't waste your listening time. You can listen faster than the speaker can speak so anticipate, evaluate & mentally summarize the speaker's points as you listen.
• even keeping you desk clear can be a good way of elminating distrationc
• do not play (fidget) with pens or other things when listening.

Chapter #5
L Look at the other person. (ie if not in eyes at least in hairline.
A Ask Questions - open ended is best (ask how someone feels people love to explain that)
D Don't Interrupt
D Don't change the subject
E Check your emotions (listen not judge) (also don't do the 1st 'd' and chime in with your emotions)
R Respond- nod, "uh huh", can ask questions to clarify what is said.


Sweet, I just got totally caught up. I think I'll finish the book this weekend. I look forward to being told about 20 more times how psychiatrists get paid so much money just to listen.

Sales man example (asking):
Faker: Sell me something in this room?
Seller: What would you like to buy?
Faker: Oh, I guess this ashtray
Seller: Why would you want to buy that ash tray?
Faker: Its new & shapely. Its colorful and also we're in a building and I don't want it to burn down so I want to accommodate my guests.
Seller: (instantly) How much would you pay for the ashtray?
Faker: Well its not and sturdy and attractive, I guess about 18 - $20.
Seller: I'll go ahead and let you have it for $18.
--- asking questions is a great way to sell.
closed ended questions: Who where & When, Did (I thought of this on my own)
open ended questions: What why & How

• Reasons to ask questions: to get specific info or to learn opinions/feelings.
  

Listening Notes -- #2

• Can you put yourself in the other person's shoes (8) <----- page number

• Main objectives of communicating: 1 - Be deeply understanding of others 2 - be clearly understood 3 - be accepted by others 4 - to get action
• Psychologists say fundamental human need = to be appreciated. Listening is 1 of highest forms of appreciation you can show another person. (10)
  
• Listening is easier when you have a purpose. ie to: be an interested manager, obtain news/facts/other info., form an opinion, discover s.o.'s attitude, obtain feedback, be a friend.

CH-2
Characteristics of poor listerners (do I have some of these?) (yes)

• always interrupts
• jumps to conclusions
• finishes my sentences
• inattentive; wandering eyse
• changes subject
• writes e.t. down.
• not give responses
• impatient
• loses tempor
• fidgets

good listerns:

1. looks at me while I'm speaking
2. questions to clarify what I said
3. shows concerns through ?'s about my feelings
4. repeats me
5. not rush me
6. poised & emotionally controlled
7. reacts responsively (often w/ body language)
8. pays close attention
9. not interrupt me
10. keep on the subject til i've finished my thoughts.

questions to evaluate yourself with:

1. how do I see myself as a listener? be very specific
2. How do others see me?
3. Am I a willing listener? (not really)
4. am I easy to talk to
5. do I draw out opposite views to fully understand others' feelings?

Communicating Book

For the MBA 505 course, we have to read a book that we choose on communication. The library offered my Learning Made Easy. It does not get the best review on Amazon, but I liked what the chapter headings said; as for the rest, only reading will tell if was good. (I'll put a book review on Amazon though if I like it otherwise they've already got it covered)

Anyway, I really do want to gain better listening skills and since this is a library book that I have to return in 3 weeks I thought I would keep a lot of notes on this blog. So that's what's under the "communication" theme.

------------------ The Notes Begin ------------------

• Bad Listening caused by bad habits: listening only for facts, day dreaming, disliking the speaker, private planning, too much emotion, mental detours, debating, tuning out too soon.
• Distractions: laziness, self-consciousness, even something like a toothache.
• Listening is a huge tool for managers, you have to understand so much about your subordinates.
  
• Practically impossible for Leadership is can't listen. (at least if its not by force)
  
• Listening mean trying to see something the way the speaker sees it. Any other thoughts are distractions.