Saturday, November 10, 2007

Listening Notes -- #2

  • Can you put yourself in the other person's shoes (8) <----- page number
  • Main objectives of communicating: 1 - Be deeply understanding of others 2 - be clearly understood 3 - be accepted by others 4 - to get action
  • Psychologists say fundamental human need = to be appreciated. Listening is 1 of highest forms of appreciation you can show another person. (10)
  • Listening is easier when you have a purpose. ie to: be an interested manager, obtain news/facts/other info., form an opinion, discover s.o.'s attitude, obtain feedback, be a friend.

Characteristics of poor listerners (do I have some of these?) (yes)
  • always interrupts
  • jumps to conclusions
  • finishes my sentences
  • inattentive; wandering eyse
  • changes subject
  • writes e.t. down.
  • not give responses
  • impatient
  • loses tempor
  • fidgets
good listerns:
  1. looks at me while I'm speaking
  2. questions to clarify what I said
  3. shows concerns through ?'s about my feelings
  4. repeats me
  5. not rush me
  6. poised & emotionally controlled
  7. reacts responsively (often w/ body language)
  8. pays close attention
  9. not interrupt me
  10. keep on the subject til i've finished my thoughts.
questions to evaluate yourself with:
  1. how do I see myself as a listener? be very specific
  2. How do others see me?
  3. Am I a willing listener? (not really)
  4. am I easy to talk to
  5. do I draw out opposite views to fully understand others' feelings?

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